It's a gay life

This morning, I had a bit of a misunderstanding with one of my colleagues, who was, somehow,under the impression that I'm gay. I have no idea why he came to that conclusion, as I'm sure we'd discussed my husband in previous conversations, but there you go.

The most interesting thing, though, is that when we finally cleared up the miscommunication, was that he apologised for assuming that I was a lesbian.

Why? Why does sexual preference confuse us so? Why should I feel at all offended at this?

It brings to mind something that happened about 12 years ago. Schoolmate E. was completely adamant that she didn't know any gay people because she reckoned she'd know. How she would know is beyond me, perhaps she expected every homosexual to have the word 'Gay' tattoo'd on their foreheads, but I vividly remember the shock on her face when I pointed out that our mutual friend S. was (and still is) a lesbian.

You see, S. looks completely normal. She does not have extra toes or fingers, nor any webbing between them. She does not (as far as I know) have any tattoos in any strange places, she does not look particularly butch and does not normally dress up in men's suits with slicked-back hair and a make-up moustache. She simply looks like S. And because of that, E. could not believe that S. is gay.

Something else that always grabs my attention is the annual Gay Pride parade. Why? Why would you choose to go around parading your homosexuality? Not that you should keep it hidden, but why is it so important that for a whole day you should dress in pink feather boa's and dance on a barge in the Amsterdam canals, shouting and singing that you prefer same-sex-sex?

You see, it seems to me that defining your, or anyone's character by sexual orientation alone is rather shallow. Why would anyone go around, introducing themselves as 'hi, my name is and I am straight/gay/bisexual/celibate/attracted to horses'? Who cares? I refuse to believe that any person is as simple to understand as that.

Myself, I think I'm mostly straight, but I can appreciate the female form as much as any man (or woman) around. And I can honestly say that I'm not with hubby because he's a man, but because he's S. (part of which is that he happens to be a man). It's because he's his own person, and his own unique individuality that I love him. And it's also friend S.'s unique personality that makes her my friend. Their sexual preferences have nothing to do with that.

Anyway, in retrospect I'm wondering which was a bigger dissapointment for my colleague: the idea that I might be gay, or the fact that I'm married...