Coming Thursday is Thanksgiving Day in the US. And one of the big parts of Thanksgiving is the Turkey Dinner. (I don't pretend to be an expert on any of this, I've just looked it up on Wikipedia).
The reason I'm telling you this is because of two things that have caught my eye. The first one is an episode of my favorite series, that I just happened to be watching. It is called Shibboleth and it is the 8th installment of the second season of the West Wing. Amongst others, it is about the president pardoning a turkey.
Obviously, if the Turkey Dinner is the centrepiece of Thanksgiving, there is an awful lot of Turkeys killed for the celebration. In fact, Wikipedia estimates that 16 to 20% of Turkey consumption in the US happens at Thanksgiving alone. It seems irrelevant that turkey is nutritionally the poorest of all the meats, or that it is one of the hardest to cook well. Or that, once you cook a turkey, you´re eating turkey left-over sandwiches until Christmas at least.
Anyway, in this West Wing episode, the president pardoned a turkey, and the press secretary was given two turkeys from which to choose the one that was going to spend its days in a petting zoo. The other was to be slaughtered. Not a nice choice, and in the end CJ Cregg (above mentioned press secretary) actually asked the president to pardon both turkeys since she hated the idea she'd sent one bird to the butchers.
Of course, the West Wing is a TV show. It is fictional entertainment and one should not confuse it with reality. But imagine my surprise when I came across this article:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7742689.stm
Do I need to say more?
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Ah... it's a girft to be simple, a gift to be free, and a gift to be funny... for your pleasure an excerpt.
ReplyDeleteC.J.: I’m sorry to ask you this, sir.
BARTLET: Not too late to stop yourself.
C.J.:I need you to pardon a turkey.
BARTLET:I already pardoned a turkey.
C.J.:I need you to pardon another one.
BARTLET:Didn’t I do it right?
C.J.:You did it great, but I need you to come out here and pardon another one.
BARTLET:Aren’t I gonna get a reputation for being soft on turkeys?
C.J.:Sir, could you come out here and just get this over with?
BARTLET:No, I’m not just gonna get this--What the hell is going on?
C.J.[approaches]: They sent me two turkeys. The most photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children’s zoo. The runner-up gets eaten.
BARTLET:If the Oscars were like that, I’d watch.
C.J.:Mr. President...
BARTLET:Just buy the second turkey.
C.J.:They already sold it.
BARTLET:There’s not much I can do.
C.J.:You can pardon the turkey.
BARTLET:The turkey hasn’t committed a crime.
C.J.:Sir...
BARTLET:C.J., I have really no judicial jurisdiction over birds.
C.J.:Yes, I know that, and you know that, but Morton Horn doesn’t know that.
BARTLET:Who’s Morton...?
C.J.:He’s a high school kid from the turkey place.
BARTLET:He’s in high school and he doesn’t know I can’t pardon his turkey?
C.J.:That’s what I’m betting.
BARTLET:C.J., if we don’t and I mean completely overhaul public education in this country...
C.J.:Yes sir, but maybe this is not the best time to...
BARTLET:Where the hell is he?
C.J.:Right out there.
Bartlet immediately heads for the door, with C.J. following behind him. As Bartlet and C.J. come out of the Oval Office, we see Donna and Morton by the door of
the room near Charlie’s desk. Troy, the turkey, is in front of them.
C.J.:Morton, this is President Bartlet.
BARTLET:Hey, Morton.
MORTON:Wow.
BARTLET:Well said. Is that the turkey?
DONNA:Yes.
BARTLET[to the turkey]: You’re pardoned.
C.J.:Sir...
BARTLET:What do you want?
C.J.[with hand gestures]: Well, you know...
BARTLET[to the turkey again]: By the power vested in me by the Constitution of the United States,
I hereby pardon you.
MORTON[pleased]: Okay.
BARTLET:No, it’s not okay.
C.J.:Sir...
BARTLET:Morton, I can’t pardon a turkey. If you think I can pardon a turkey, then you have got
to go back to your school and insist that you be better prepared to go out in the world.
DONNA:You can’t pardon a turkey?
BARTLET[beat]: No. I tell you what I can do. I’m drafting this turkey into military service. In the meantime, somebody will be drafting a check, which will have my signature on it, so the folks can buy themselves a Butterball.
MORTON:Okay.
C.J.:Donna, will you have Morton take Troy back to his pen, and remember to support his hindquarters.
BARTLET[quietly to C.J.]: What’s wrong with him?
C.J.:The turkey’s hindquarters.
Morton picks up Troy and walks off with Donna.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Incidentally, George W. Bush pardoned TWO turkeys this year, who bore (and will now continue to bear) the enigmatic names of Pumpkin and Pecan.
ReplyDeleteThe man seems to have an almost uncanny ability to turn a good situation into a bad one. Not only did he eliminate the turkey from the thanksgiving table, but the substitute turkey and the other ingredients as well... How typical!